#OurRelations – GENDER
Maybe you didn't know but Anna is a cis-woman and Andrea is a cis-man. Opposite to trans-, it means that our gender identity and expression matches the biological sex we were given when we were born. It also means we were raised as girl and boy respectively by a society which has very different expectations toward each gender. Fortunately, our parents were open-minded and gave us space to understand and explore what we like and want to do regardless our sex and gender. It doesn't mean, though, that we are free from society pressure. Even our close ones keep asking sometimes questions related to kids and home duties only to Anna and those related to job and earning money to support the family only to Andrea.
It was quite a challenge at the beginning of our relationship. Anna is not very enthusiastic with kids and absolutely hopeless with cooking. She was afraid of not being accepted by Andrea, especially considering the importance of family and food in Italian culture. Andrea on the other hand likes children and enjoys playing with them. And he loves cooking, including growing his own food. He would be a perfect househusband. Anna is much more self-development and career oriented, she doesn't mind to earn money and compete on the job market. As for cleaning, fortunately we have a similar level of needs, yet we pay attention to different things. Anna is disturbed by dirt and dust, while Andrea is much more careful with keeping clean things clean (laying in the bed with daily clothes is strictly forbidden!) and segregation of rubbish. Anna more often wash the dishes (as she doesn't really cook), Andrea usually does the washing machine, etc. Andrea is responsible for shopping, as Anna hates it – doesn't matter whether it is food, clothes or electronics; after 10 minutes she is bored like hell.
We are very clear about what we are good at and what we don't want to do, yet it took us long time to accept that. Although we never really tried to meet the expectations society and people have toward our gender, they influence us, leading to doubts, guilt and questions. Yet, nothing compared to those who don't fit in, who are not cisgender and/or hetero. We think we can learn a lot from them about questioning society limits and having courage to discover who we are, regardless of what we have been always told. Because only knowing who I am, what I like, what I'm good at, what is my purpose and what I want to do in life I can become self-confident, I can be happy and fulfilled and I can share with the world my full potential.