You know already from the introduction to the #YearOfEmotions that there are no good and bad emotions. They all come to tell us something important. Sure, some are more pleasant than others. And the unpleasant ones are more, at least at a language level. We also discussed fear, anger, frustration and sadness - four emotions which could be considered unpleasant - before approaching joy. Why is it so? Well, the fact is that at the end of the day it’s unpleasant emotions which save our life. We could survive without joy, but we wouldn't go much far without fear. And the number one goal of our nervous system is to keep us alive.
Fortunately, though, pleasant emotions exist and hopefully they can be part of our daily life. It must be clear that one cannot ignore or dump some emotions and not the others. No selection at the door: if you decide to block your fear, sadness or anger, you also block joy and excitement.
So, what is joy about? The non-violent communication approach would say it is the signal that our needs are fulfilled. We get what we long for. Easy and beautiful, right? Paradoxically, sometimes it may be more difficult to share our joy than our sadness. Don't you feel at times a little guilty sharing how happy you are or how things are going well for you? In many cultures - certainly in ours - complaining and frustration are in some way more welcomed than pure joy. But there is something else. When we are with somebody who is sad we may feel better about ourselves - here I am, the rescuer, the one who helps, the important one -. Accompanying somebody who experiences joy is an egoless act. But joy which is not shared, disappears. One word or reaction can kill the joy in a second. Let’s find ways to be able to be with our joy. And with the joy of others. Just here and now. Appreciating the moment. Because joy is here for that - to enjoy it.
And as much as mindfulness and staying with what is can help us to understand fear, sadness or anger, it’s also very good too to truly notice and fully experience joy. Just stop for a moment and see - where is it present in your body? How does it change the way you perceive the world and your own thoughts? What would be the best way to celebrate your joy and let it grow?
It’s interesting to see how over the years joy becomes for us a goal in itself. A value, which we evaluate our life against. Do we have enough joy in our life? Do our current situation, work, project bring us joy and if not - what can we do about it? Joy doesn’t mean things are easy. But it means they give us satisfaction, passion and motivation to continue.
And let’s not forget about the little joys of life - a good coffee (or another beverage) in a cosy place, the sunrise over the horizon, a meeting with friends, reading an interesting book, smiling to a stranger, observing a cute bird, hugging the loved one. At the end maybe are those little things that give the true essence of our lives.
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